Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday 5 - Inventions that do not help me at all

The last post was about inventions that are helpful.  There's a lot of stuff out there meant to be helpful but aren't.

1.  The snooze button on my alarm clock.  The snooze button itself is probably a good idea.  The fact that it's located just next to another button is the problem.  One little slip at 5:30am in my sleep coma and the alarm doesn't ring again.  This is a problem.

2.  Voice command on my phone.  This is supposed to allow me to text without hands.  Maybe it works for some folks but my phone has a sense of humor.  I was texting a friend one day to tell him about my day.  What I said was "I'm having a good day.  I have a good client and a good team."  My phone sent him "I'm putting my penis in my client."  Not even close.

3.  GPS.  I know the roads (here) better than my GPS.  And she yells at me.  I get yelled at enough from humans.  I don't need this crap from my electronics.

4.  Travel mugs.  They work in theory but they are missing one big thing: a voice reminder to take it with me.  I make coffee most mornings.  The cup is still there in the afternoon when I return.  Not helpful.

5.  MP3s.  Yes, they sound good but there's no more touching the vinyl.  There's no more album art (remember Led Zeppelin's In Through the Out Door and it's cool paint with water cover?  Or the Velvet Underground's Andy Warhol banana peel?  Or even Styx Paradise Theatre's etched vinyl?)  I miss those.  

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