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Thursday, December 31, 2015

The Year That Flew By

It doesn't feel like end of the year.  It doesn't feel like a year has gone by.  But it has.  And so much has changed:

My kids are in high school.
My mom is in a nursing home.
I grew a bunch of food.

Okay, that's not SO MUCH. That's a kind of short list.  But it's all I can come up with.

Lots has stayed the same:

I worry about my mom (though this year is dramatically different from last year - she's safe now).
My dishwasher still doesn't work.
I'm still in the same field that I should have left years ago.
I'm still living in this house.

There's more but that list depresses me.  I asked my girls yesterday what personal goals they had for the upcoming year (response: silence) and what accomplishments they had for 2015 (made it to high school, had their first job).  It got me to thinking about my own stuff.

Personal goals:

1.  Keep walking.  It's good for me.
2.  Maintain life on the healthy track.  I miss some stuff but I feel better.
3.  Find out what I want to do for the next few years.
4.  Fix my house (youtube videos, here I come).
5.  Get my life in order.

Accomplishments:

1.  I didn't kill anyone.  Yay me!
2.  I started walking/paying attention to what I eat.  I no longer feel "allergic" to vegetables.
3.  I maintained a successful business.
4.  I stopped drinking soda (except for the rare occasion).
5.  I saw a HUGE amount of fireworks.

We'll see what 2016 has to bring.  I hope it's a quiet year.

Happy New Year to you all.


Thursday, December 3, 2015

I'll take Crazy Bitch for the Win!

I had my day pretty well planned out before I left the house today.  I knew where to park for my jobs today that would give me the most steps.  I knew what I was eating.  You see, I have to think about these things now.  It probably comes easy to you but it's not easy to me.  I have been living a mindless existence in many ways.  I eat mindlessly and I don't think about exercising.  I concentrate on what needs to get done in any given day - work, my kids, my mom.  That's about it.

But it's changing!

I am on my 30th day of hitting my walking goal of 10,000 steps or more each and every day. On 15 of those days, I hit over 11,000.  My highest day is 14,700.

So, what have I done?  I made doing something for me a priority.  That's been huge.  Every day I walk.  This seems to annoy my children but, get this, I DON'T CARE.  M is somewhat onboard meaning she'll walk with me occasionally.  A doesn't enjoy it at all.  But, here I go again, I DON'T CARE.  I'm still doing it.  Andrew walks with me often, which I enjoy and really appreciate.  My friends cheer me on, which is encouraging.  One of the best things is the interpreters who know what I'm doing and either encourage me to walk when we're working together or walk with me at lunch and on breaks.  That's been very motivating.

I'm paying attention to what I'm eating.  No more mindless grazing.  No more eating what I want when I want without thinking.  Now I eat vegetables with nearly every meal (and I am not a fan of veggies).  I cut out the things that I can't eat in normal portions - pasta, rice, crackers, etc.  I haven't had chocolate in weeks - and oddly, I don't miss it all.  I can't eat at a fast food restaurant (except salads at McDonald's, which I actually like).  I can't eat from a vending machine (unless it's a protein bar).  I only have soda occasionally when I'm out (like once or twice a month).  All the changes are making a difference.

The most obvious difference is I'm down a pants size.  That wasn't unexpected.  The things that have taken me by surprise are the confidence I have, the lack of the sick feeling I had most days and the fact that I no longer think trees give me hives.  Let's break that down:

1.  I have more confidence:  This was unexpected.  I not a generally confident person.  I feel differently now.  I have a goal.

2.  I don't feel sick: I had enough gastro issues that I was being referred to a gastroenterologist.  I rarely feel icky any more.  Massive change.

3.  Nature doesn't suck:  I'm much more of a city girl.  But all this walking through Sligo Creek, Lake Artemesia, Greenbelt Park - all over - has made me appreciate and actually enjoy the sound of the leaves rustling, chipmunks scurrying and woodpeckers being noisy.  I've learned to hear the difference between deer, squirrels and chipmunks in the woods.  It's strange but it's become my form of mediation, in a way.

You know that saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?  I refuse to be called old or a dog.  So I'll take "The Crazy Bitch is Getting Her Shit Together."  That fits much better.