Friday, August 30, 2013

Feeling awkward

I am right handed.  This makes me part of the majority and makes my life easy.  I have a left handed kid and we often stumble upon things that make me realize my life is a little easier than hers.  Vending machines, metro turnstiles, handicap door access panels - all set for right handed people.  I'm used to it.  My daughter complains but realizes this is life.

So all is good, right?


I have a repetitive stress injury that is affecting my right shoulder, back and neck.  I'm supposed to be in a sling and keep my right arm immobilized.  Easy peasy, right?  Hell no.

Aside from the fact that the words "do not work for 2-3 weeks and keep your arm in a sling" are words that set an interpreters heart stopping, life is not easy with just one arm.  Lucky for me, I'm finding amusement in this.  I'm learning things I never thought of before.  What, you ask?  Here's some things that are making me laugh:

  1. I can't mix pancake mix with my left hand.
  2. I also can't flip a pancake without my right hand.
  3. I can't put on a bra with just my left hand.
  4. I can't figure out how to use toilet paper with my left hand.  I'm sure the ladies in the nearby stalls were wondering why I was laughing.
  5. I can't open the sunroof in my car.
  6. I can't unlock a door.
  7. I can't text (but I can voice text).
  8. Typing is a challenge.
  9. Open the fridge/oven feels weird.
  10. I can't brush my teeth or my hair.
This is insane.  And it better be temporary.  I had a brief stint - a few months - as a left handed person when I was in elementary school with a broken right wrist.  I can write my name with my left hand as a result.  That's about all I can do.  

So I sit here, typing with both hands because nothing will get done otherwise.  And grumbling to myself.....grrrrh.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Brother Husbands

My daughter, M, had a great idea the other night.  She sees me struggle with things I don't know how to fix - the plumbing, car problems, electrical problems - the list is endless.

So, what is M's suggestion you ask?

Brother husbands.  You know, like Sister Wives, only handier.

She made a list of the kinds of husbands I should have:

1.  Computer (current boyfriend fits this one)
2.  Plumber
3.  Mechanic
4.  Landscaper
5.  AV Sales person (someone wants new audio equipment)
6.  Chef
7.  Doctor
8.  Orthodontist (that request comes from A, the one with braces)
9.  A (random) millionaire
10. Someone who works at Apple/Motorola/Samsung
11.  An interpreter so I can be a stay at home mom (A's request)

I like that they put so much thought into this.  I am surprised that they think I will have enough, um, stamina for 11 husbands.  Or interest.  Or patience.

I would like 11 friends who fit the list, though.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Someone else's Bucket List

A while ago, I joined a bunch of other bloggers in publishing our bucket lists.  It was hard for me to come up with my own bucket list.  I couldn't get my head around making a list of things to do before I die.  Yet, in reality, I've had to do it before - in real life.  When I was told I had a brain tumor and random people started hugging me just to prove it was serious, I started thinking of the things I needed to do before I died.  Then that diagnosis changed and I realized I'd be here for a while so the thought left.

My mom is 83 years old.  It is unlikely she will live for another 20 years.  She has Parkinson's Disease (PD).  Actually, she could live another 20 years - she's otherwise healthy.  But she won't be able to walk for much longer.  That fact affects the things that can go on the bucket list.

I struggled finding 10 things left that I wanted to do in my life.  It's even harder to find things left to do in the life of a woman who has already done so much.  She's had a fun life that spans lives in NYC, Boston, Philly and now here.  Now I'm dissecting that life trying to come up with things she'd enjoy doing on a farewell trip.  Boston?  Maybe - but it's a long drive and she needs to stand every hour.  NYC?  She declined that one.  A long weekend "down the shore"?  That's a definite! Going back to Lansdale to see her friends?  Also a definite.  A trip to LA to visit my brother?  I know she wants to but the logistics are a bit overwhelming.

So maybe I should break it down into smaller pieces.  She enjoyed a spontaneous trip to the DC zoo when my brother was in town.  In fact, that was her idea.  She loved going to Brookside Gardens.  Maybe the bucket list doesn't need to be filled with grandiose trips.  Maybe smaller fun trips would be acceptable.  Maybe the bucket list should focus on family time instead of saying goodbyes.  Maybe.....

I'm open to wheelchair accessible ideas.