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Monday, February 28, 2011

My New Theme Song

I told the girls the other day that we need a theme song - something we can listen to that will make us feel good when we need it. I've had two previous theme songs in my life:

1. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer when I was 30 (thankfully, not a fully correct diagnosis). My theme song was Tub Thumping by Chumbawamba. The chorus: "I get knocked down
But I get up again. You're never going to keep me down
" It worked.

2. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in my late 30s. Again, it wasn't exactly that but we didn't know that for quite a while. I picked the song Trouble by the Indigo Girls. "Get to the point of it; get to the sense of it; I'm in a hurry to get through it." I felt that was right. I was definitely in trouble.

So now we need a new theme song. The girls picked Lady Gaga's Born This Way.

"Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
(Born this way) "

I think it's okay. I'm not against it. I'm just not sure I'm for it. And I'm slightly concerned that this is what they pick.

Our other choice? Praan by Gary Schyman. It's sung in Sri Lankan and we have no idea what it says. But it sounds pretty. Pretty is good.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Taking Sides

I've said it before. Divorce sucks. There's really no arguing that fact. If it didn't suck, I'd probably still be married.

Separating things is hard. Clothes are easy. Furniture won't be too hard. Photos will suck. Friends are the hardest. Add the technology thorn in my side - facebook - and it sucks even worse.

We started with something like 47 friends in common. We're down to about 31. Even that's too many. Some defriended him after seeing the latest things he's posted. Some I defriended because I didn't want to ask them to take sides. Some defriended once they knew what was going on. The 31 remaining people are folks I need to assess. And that sucks.

Systematically removing someone who has been part of my life for the last 13 years is harder than I thought it would be. I'm learning some lessons along the way:

1. My friends - my true friends - are awesome. And they love me. I'm not sure I realized that before.

2. I would never let a future spouse get so ingrained in my life. I can have friends separate from a partner.

3. I won't have a partner that doesn't have his own friends. Why attach yourself to my childhood friends who you may meet once or twice or my work friends with whom you have virtually no contact with? Get your own.

4. I will value the people who I have taken for granted in the past.

I feel like the Grinch today. I'm bitchy and I want to do bad things. Then a bunch of little happy things happened and I felt my heart grow "three sizes" this day.

Yay for the happy Grinch.