Thursday, August 21, 2014

Life Is Full Of Choices

Today at lunch, I was talking with a co-worker.  We were talking about our kids and their attitudes.  She was relaying a story about one of her children who was complaining that her life was tough.  My friend reminded her that her life wasn't tough but rather it was busy - a choice she made.

I've been thinking a lot about that statement:  "You choose to be {busy/bored/whatever it is you're feeling}.  It's true.  Life is a bunch of choices.

I was feeling sorry (sort of) for myself recently.  I still feel like my life is in limbo - that it's spent getting my kids to and from camp and activities while trying to make sure my mom is okay and has all she needs and fitting in enough work hours to feed everyone.  My brother, ex and boyfriend have all talked to me about taking time for myself - making sure I'm okay, too.  There are not enough hours in the day.

Then I realized, in the middle of my conversation at lunch, that this is indeed a choice.  I am making the choice to make my mom's life happy while she's here - it won't last forever.  I am making the choice to make sure my kids are involved in activities so they have opportunities I didn't have.  I am making all sorts of choices that don't always feel good but have a positive outcome.  But they are my choices.

So now I shall choose to go to bed.  Or play more tetris.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

An unlikely fan

I've been quiet here for the last month or so.  I've started to write a lot of posts but none of them make me happy.  I started to write about the ineptitude of medical personnel and the rudeness they exude.  I started to write about what it feels like to have a life stuck in limbo.  I started to write about what it feels like when the only parent you have left is in peril.  None of those were fun.

So I decided to take a break and go to my happy place for a day.  I made the ride to Ocean City, New Jersey last week alone to go meet a friend and see the Indigo Girls play at the Music Pier.  One of my favorite bands was playing in one of my favorite places.  How could I be anything but happy?

Then I got to thinking about it.  Why do I like the Indigo Girls (IG)?  I'm not like the rest of their fan base.  I'm not gay.  I don't like folk music (at all).  I do like female vocals (a lot).  I had a lot of time to think about it on the ride up.

They were the first show I ever interpreted. I was assigned to Pink Floyd but because I had never ever seen an interpreted show before, I was placed on IG as an understudy.  I learned what to and not to do as an interpreter at that show.  Still, it felt foreign to me.

And I liked the music.  This was a shock to me.  I listened to rock/alternative music my whole life.  I like lots of bass and drums and just plain loud.  So this doesn't make sense.

More thinking.

They are sentimental to me.  I've interpreted for them about a dozen times over the last 20 years.  I know most of their music inside and out.  I've associated their music with specific times in my life - during medical crisis, my divorce and my recovery back into single life.

My conclusion?  It's their use of idioms.  I hate idioms.  When I'm interpreting, that stops and stumps me every freaking time.  Every time.  But I like it when they sing with all their weird and picturesque expressions.  It challenges me.  And I can make it work in ASL.  And it makes me feel comfortable.  I know it.  My brain is happy when I hear it.

So there you go.