What would Judi do?

I write this while sitting in the dark at my ex's family's cottage in Sodus Point, NY.  I can hear the waves lap the shoreline on Lake Ontario.  I've been thinking all day about how incredibly lucky and grateful I am.  So many thoughts....only 5 things to list. 1.  I won't put down seeing my kids after a month.  That's a given.  I'll say seeing them sail by themselves in small little sail boats was pretty cool. 2.  Walking along the beach, just the three of us, looking for sea glass and fossils.  I hope they never forget this.  I won't.  This activity alone made my heart sing and made this day rank up there in my top 10 of all time. 3.  Watching the sun rise at 5:30 this morning (okay, it was sort of already up but that's as close as I'm going to get) and set again this evening.  Beautiful. 4.  Being in this odd little town.  I used to dread coming here.  Now I think of all the time I wasted in N...

Coming back from vacation can be a let down.  Yeah, I felt that but some good things happened this week, too.  It all balanced out. 1.  I have seen people.  I went to lunch with one friend, out for dinner, beer and girl talk with another.  Oh, no, I did that twice!  Time with friends is good. 2.  All my clients this week (and granted, there weren't many) greeted me with "Welcome back!  Tell me about your trip!"  Such a nice way to be greeted before I dive into crazy science stuff. 3.  I only lost power once this week.  Given the events of the weeks I was gone, this is good. 4.  I am smiling a lot more.  People react well to smiles. 5.  There will be fireworks tonight.  They were postponed on the 4th.  Clearly the organizers realized I would miss them if they happened as scheduled.  I am beyond happy about this. Life is good.  It's good to make a list to remind me of that sometimes.

I'm in my house alone.  Again. I came home from vacation to a quiet, if not messy, house.  No "Mommy!"  No arguing.  No bickering.  Nothing. Six days later, it's still quiet.  I haven't seen my children in nearly three weeks.  One more week to go.  It's been a long time. I miss them as much as I expected.  It feels longer than I thought it would. I'm grateful for technology.  While in Geneva, I stayed up past 2am so I could video chat with them.  Now I can only talk on the phone to them, but that's okay.  It's better than nothing.  M has gone from being annoyed that I left to missing me - I can hear it in her voice.  A missed me all along.  I miss them. They will come back more independent, having been able to bike to camp alone (which would never happen here) and having been away from both parents for two weeks (they're with other family members).  They will be tanned and have stories to tell me. ...

There was so much I noticed while I was on vacation.  I had such a great time but there are things I would like to continue in my real life.  I doubt it will happen but a girl can hope. 1.  I wasn't lactose intolerant in Switzerland.  I don't know why but I could eat cheese - and did so a lot!  No problems at all! 2.  I was relaxed.  I wasn't responsible for two kids, a mom, a house, a business (okay, I did work a bit while I was there but it wasn't bad) and me.  I laughed a lot.  I drank wine.  And pina coladas. I let go and it was all okay. 3.  I trusted someone else.  I don't trust many people in this world.  Andrew and I would discuss the plan of the day and most days, I said "I'm following you".  That's an unusual feeling for me.  I let him lead and enjoyed following him.  He took me to fabulous places and I always felt safe.  I like that feeling. 4.  I trusted myself.  I speak f...

Finally!  I can get into my blog!  I haven't been able to so far on this trip.  And when I see it, it's in German (which is funny because I'm in a French speaking area).  So happy to see you, my blog. So much is happening on this trip.  It really is the trip of a lifetime. I have much to say but only want to jot down notes now so I don't forget.  Between my notes and my over-a-thousand-pictures, I'll remember this forever. 1.  Geneva likes flowers.  It's smells good here almost everywhere.  I can't identify them all but I'd like them in my (very big in my head but small in reality) garden. 2.  There are free pianos set up around the city just for people to play.  It's marvelous to be walking down a street and hear beautiful music.  Sometimes people bring others for accompaniment.  One had a flute player.  That was fun.  One boy started out at one location, put a hat on the piano and was amazing.  Dur...

I'm a firm believer that every once in a while you need to get scared.  Not scared as in my-life-is-in-danger scared.  But gee-I've-never-done-this-before scared.  It's a different kind of scared and a pretty useful one for me. I can count on my hands the number of times I've scared myself only to find that it's improved me in some way or another.  I almost didn't get on the plane to Poland to meet up with a guy who I knew for three weeks six years earlier.  I was beyond scared.  What if he wasn't there?  What if he was really a serial killer?  I had no idea what to expect.  It was an amazing trip.  I would've missed it all had I not gotten on the airplane. I was scared to move to Maryland knowing no one.  I knew I didn't want to live in Lansdale the rest of my life but I didn't know what I wanted to do.  I moved with the idea I would be here for three months.  That was 19 years ago.  Even after I was married and ...

Lots of people don't know that before I became a sign language interpreter and entered the world of deafness, music was (and still is) a huge part of my life.  I had a small record store business - music was as much a part of me as my toes. It's not just listening to the music that affects me, though that started it all.  I love the feel of vinyl.  I love the weight of records (as opposed to cds).  I loved watching videos.  In fact, one of the earliest memories I have regarding music was sneaking a tv into my room to watch a short program on some UHF station called Rockworld.  They showed European videos and I fell in love with Siouxsie and the Banshees, Lene Lovich and the Cure.  It was so different from the Philly and teenie bopper music I listened to.  I remember seeing Siouxsie Sioux and thinking I wanted to be her.  She had dark eyeliner and yellow eyeshadow.   ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9otg_Cm50RE )  The other kids wa...