Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Scaring myself

I'm a firm believer that every once in a while you need to get scared.  Not scared as in my-life-is-in-danger scared.  But gee-I've-never-done-this-before scared.  It's a different kind of scared and a pretty useful one for me.

I can count on my hands the number of times I've scared myself only to find that it's improved me in some way or another.  I almost didn't get on the plane to Poland to meet up with a guy who I knew for three weeks six years earlier.  I was beyond scared.  What if he wasn't there?  What if he was really a serial killer?  I had no idea what to expect.  It was an amazing trip.  I would've missed it all had I not gotten on the airplane.

I was scared to move to Maryland knowing no one.  I knew I didn't want to live in Lansdale the rest of my life but I didn't know what I wanted to do.  I moved with the idea I would be here for three months.  That was 19 years ago.  Even after I was married and had children I thought I'd move home.  When my marriage was over my first thought was to move home.  I'm glad I didn't.  It's been a long road but Silver Spring is finally my home.

I'm doing it again.  I'm going to Geneva with my boyfriend for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!  I am excited but scared.  I haven't gone anywhere without my family in 12 years.  I'm going to be away from my kids for 4 weeks!  I'm beyond stressed.

But it will be fun.  I will see things I can't even imagine.  It will be fun.  The butterflies bustling in my tummy will go away.  Hopefully.

It's good to be scared once in a while.  Right?

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