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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Superpowers

I want to have a super power. I don't need a cape or a special outfit (though fancy shoes and a tattoo would be awesome).  I don't want a visible power.  Just something I can use, when needed. Like the hulk - but I don't want to turn green (hate that color).  I don't want to inflict rage.  I just want to right the wrongs I see.

I used to think I could get Montgomery County out of its budget crisis if they would just let me ticket people who drive like douchebags.  So far, no one has take me up on that idea so here I sit, in a car, unable to right those wrongs.  The aggressive drivers, people who run lights and stop signs and those who for some unknown reason find it difficult to use turn signals will have to be stopped by someone other than me.  That's too bad.  I was looking forward to pulling them over in my minivan.

So what kind of super power do I want?  I want something that will shut people up.  Not all people - just the ones who need to shut up.  You know the mean girls at the middle schools?  Those girls need to shut up.  The boys who torture the girls needlessly?  Yep, they need to shut up.  The adults at work who decide who can and can't have interpreters/reasonable accommodations/whatever folks need to do their jobs.  They need to shut the fuck up.

Maybe something that shoots mouth closing staples out of my fingers.  Or I could shoot people the evil look and that would be sufficient.

Okay, maybe I do need a cape.

Or another super power.  Hmmmm.....I need another idea.  Thoughts?

1 comment:

  1. In the tech world, we've been working on something like this for some years now, without much progress, alas. It's variously called things like "Remotely Controlled Electrified Keyboard" or "smite-over-IP".

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