The grass is always greener on the other side.
I want the green grass. I want to be on the right side.
This all started playing out in my head yesterday. Well, that's a lie. It's been mulling around in there for a while. When I was a stay at home (SAH) mom, I wanted to be working. I've been working full time for several years now and I want to be a SAH mom again. Okay, not a full time SAH but I want to be home for my kids after school. They need it now more than they did in elementary school. I remember reading a blog post (can't remember from where) years ago that explained why middle school (girls especially) need a parent home after school. Whoever wrote it was spot on. My kids see/experience bullying, get teased by teachers, feel overwhelmed by the massive academic expectations, try to manage an age-appropriate social relations - all while coming home to an empty house. Granted, it's often not empty for long. But still.
My bf talked to me about how I manage my time and expectations. It wasn't a sit-down, serious sort of talk. It was a passing remark that went something like: "You know how when you're on a plane and when they review the emergency procedures, they tell you to put your mask on before you put one on your kids? You might need to remember that."
Easy peasy, right?
No. At least not for me.
I can't imagine putting the mask on my face before making sure my kids were okay. This goes against my grain.
However, I'm very well aware of the fact that the advice is correct. And smart.
There's got to be a way to balance the needs of my kids, my mom and me without any one person feeling slighted or losing out on something.
I think having an Alice (brady bunch), Mrs. Livingston (courtship of eddie's father) or Mr. French (family affair - and don't you dare call me old) would be awesome. Someone who would take care of the mundane things so I could do the important things. Oh, how amazing would it be if I put my dirty clothes in the hamper and the next day they were in my drawers, folded and clean!! Or if all the plastic containers I don't wash in the dishwasher magically became clean before I needed them for lunches in the morning! The excitement I would feel knowing my toilets were clean every day would be overwhelming. That person would show my kids love - but not too much. And dinner would be ready every single night. Oh, the joy!
A girl can dream, no?