Friday, August 2, 2013

Someone else's Bucket List

A while ago, I joined a bunch of other bloggers in publishing our bucket lists.  It was hard for me to come up with my own bucket list.  I couldn't get my head around making a list of things to do before I die.  Yet, in reality, I've had to do it before - in real life.  When I was told I had a brain tumor and random people started hugging me just to prove it was serious, I started thinking of the things I needed to do before I died.  Then that diagnosis changed and I realized I'd be here for a while so the thought left.

My mom is 83 years old.  It is unlikely she will live for another 20 years.  She has Parkinson's Disease (PD).  Actually, she could live another 20 years - she's otherwise healthy.  But she won't be able to walk for much longer.  That fact affects the things that can go on the bucket list.

I struggled finding 10 things left that I wanted to do in my life.  It's even harder to find things left to do in the life of a woman who has already done so much.  She's had a fun life that spans lives in NYC, Boston, Philly and now here.  Now I'm dissecting that life trying to come up with things she'd enjoy doing on a farewell trip.  Boston?  Maybe - but it's a long drive and she needs to stand every hour.  NYC?  She declined that one.  A long weekend "down the shore"?  That's a definite! Going back to Lansdale to see her friends?  Also a definite.  A trip to LA to visit my brother?  I know she wants to but the logistics are a bit overwhelming.

So maybe I should break it down into smaller pieces.  She enjoyed a spontaneous trip to the DC zoo when my brother was in town.  In fact, that was her idea.  She loved going to Brookside Gardens.  Maybe the bucket list doesn't need to be filled with grandiose trips.  Maybe smaller fun trips would be acceptable.  Maybe the bucket list should focus on family time instead of saying goodbyes.  Maybe.....

I'm open to wheelchair accessible ideas.


  1. The list changes as we face different deadlines... from my friend Becky in Richmond:

  2. That is a great blog post. I kinda needed to read that today. Thanks PJ.