In some of the posts I've written but not published, I wrote about being an oreo. I'm not fond of the term "sandwich generation". I don't eat bread and it makes me think of bologna. I prefer thinking of myself as the fluffy white stuff in the oreo. One cookie is my mom and the other is my kids. That works better for me. It just doesn't feel better.
I have spent much of the last 7 years or so choosing between my mom and my kids. No, we can't do (whatever activity) because I need to check on my mom. Or no, I can't go to cvs to get your endless list of stuff because the girls need (fill in the blank). It's an awful feeling and one that doesn't improve with time.
This week, all four days of it so far, have been different. I deliberately scheduled a light week for myself. It because lighter with a day of cancellations. I like this. A lot. I'm a part-time everything this week. And I'm happy. So far, I've been able to:
1. Spend two not rushed, not stressful hours with my mom doing the things she wanted to do. That included trying on clothes (takes a lot of time with her and isn't easy to do in a wheelchair), cleaning and inventorying her jewelry and just listening to her talk. I have visited her twice this week and if there's no snow, there will be a third time. This is highly unusual and yet something I really need to do.
2. I've cooked every night this week. We have been adventurous in our cooking, too. The garlic snow pea shoots were great. The teriyaki beef was good. The lo mein wasn't but I made up for it the next day with fried rice with left over stuff and too much soy sauce. My girls are excited (!!) about their lunches at school. In fact, M came home to tell me her friends think I'm "LIT!" because of what we cooked. I had to clarify that yes, it was a good thing to be lit. Sigh.
3. I've had time with Andrew just to be his partner, not running around accomplishing things. We've enjoyed dinner and made coffee in the morning - things most folks get to do but doesn't happen often in my world.
I am loving every part of this. I just need to figure out how to make it last. And now I'm so happy I've made myself tired. So maybe I'll take a nap. Because I can!!