Sunday, February 3, 2013

Bite me, Martha Stewart

I am not the most domestic person.  My office is currently sitting in boxes in my living room.  We are pretending not to see the Christmas tree in the corner.  There might be a sock or two under the couch.  This is not my area of expertise.

But every once in a while I get the domestic gene kicking in and I feel the need to do things.  Sometimes it means getting all the laundry done in one day.  That's rare.  More recently it means cooking.

My mother lives in a senior living complex that is "kosher inspired".  I don't even know what that means....inspired.....other than they don't eat bacon.  I do know they eat a lot of chicken which means my mom asks me to cook anything but chicken.  Now, I'm not a great cook but when I bother to do things, it tends to be chicken.  So the challenge was on.

She asked for meat loaf.  Sigh.  I got my girl scout badge in cooking by making meat loaf.  I'm pretty sure I've made it ONCE since then.  For a reason - I hate touching meat.  But I did it.  I made two, actually.  I had the ingredients so why not?  Oh yeah, I have a kid who won't eat it.  But I have another and a boyfriend who will.  Good enough.  Oh - Rachel Ray can bite me, too!  Why?  Because her idea of freezing the ends of bread and then using them to make your own bread crumbs SUCKS.  The food processor doesn't want to grind up frozen bread.  But I got enough to make it work, all the while cursing Rachel Ray under my breath.

But there's more!

I made cheese and bacon potato skins!  Why?  Because the 10 pound bag of potatoes was the same price as the 3 pound bag.  I need to do something with it, right?

And more.

Yesterday, my kids, me, and boyfriend went to my mom's to celebrate Andrew's and my birthdays.  So I made stromboli (two, again because I could.  And because the ingredients would go bad shortly.  And because, well, why not?).  Before the stromboli, I made a birthday cake.

So, let's see....that's two strombolis, one cake, a bunch of potato skins with cheese and bacon, and two meat loaves.

But wait!  There's more!

I made a big pot of chili.  Again, I had the ingredients so why not?  I'll tell you why not.  I just gave my mom some of the last batch I made and I'm the only one in the house who eats it.  I'll be eating it for a few months.  But that's okay.  Really I made it because it's snowing and that's the perfect snowy day food.

And.....drum roll, please.....I made super yummy chicken wings.  These worried me.  I've never made them before - I didn't have to.  I was married to a really good cook and remain friendly enough with him so that when I'm craving wings (never happens in reality), I can call him and ask if I can come for dinner.  But it's time to be a big girl and cut that cord.  So I made my own.  Okay, he sent me the recipe and gave me a few tips but I MADE THEM!  I even bought hot sauce.  And they were yummy!

All of this domestic-ness has made me tired.  I never even got out of my pjs today.  None of us did.  And I have more food than easily fits in my freezer or fridge.  But we'll be eating yummy stuff this week.

I wonder how the June Cleaver's or Donna Reed's of the world did this daily.  Oh, that's right.  They didn't cook a bazillion things ALL AT THE SAME TIME!  And they were probably drunk by 8pm.  It's after 10 and I haven't even started drinking!  What's wrong with me?


  1. I made cheese and bacon potato skins! Why?

    Why the cheese and bacon? Presumably to help you forget the fact that you're eating a part of the potato that has traditionally been discarded.

  2. No, I made them because they're YUMMY and because they're good football watching food. Yum and yum! It might make you want to watch football next year.