Friday, September 28, 2012

A change in thinking

I had an interesting conversation with someone I work with the other day.  We were talking about the house he lives in (a super nice one in a nice neighborhood).  I said I didn't want to live where I live any more.  I also said I didn't want to be age 80 and still interpreting.  I told him of a few other things I didn't want to be doing.  He stopped me, explained some neuro-linguistic theory and asked me to re-phrase.  What do you mean? "Rephrase in the positive".  Rephrase in the positive ..... I had to think about that a bit.  "Think about what you're saying - is it positive or negative?"

Oh!  I get it!

That led to an interesting discussion with my girls.  One of our daily topics of conversation is "what did you do today to make a positive difference to someone?"  This fits with that.  It's made me think of how I speak.  "I don't want...." is getting replaced with "I would like to have" or "I will work towards getting..."  It's weird but I kinda like it.

It also leads to my kids having to come up with solutions, not just complaints.  Instead of "I don't want (whatever) for dinner", give me a positive statement.  "I would like to have kielbasa and pierogies for dinner.  Much easier.  "I don't want to clean my room" becomes "I would like to work for a half hour (and get it inspected) so I have time to play."  I can live with that.  It'll take a while for this to become our normal and truthfully I'm not sure that we'll ever get rid of all the negative statements.  But this is a good start!

Now, how to end the sibling bickering.....

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