Tuesday, February 21, 2012

When Mean Girls Grow Up

I didn't find out if my babies were boys or girls prior to their birth. I wanted to be surprised (because having twins wasn't enough of a surprise). I certainly had no idea what was in the cards for me by spawning two little girls.

From the beginning of this journey, one of my sayings has been "no mean girls in this house". And I mean it. I have never understood the need of girls and women to denigrate each other. Men don't do this. Boys don't do this. Girls do this. It makes me nuts. It's probably the reason all my closest friends have been male.

I knew my fair share of mean girls growing up. There's still one person who I probably wouldn't help if she was hit by a car in front of me. Karma is a bitch. And she was a bitch to me for years. After all, a leopard doesn't change its spots so a nasty girl grows up to be a nasty woman, right?

Maybe not. Social media has brought me in touch with people I thought were gone from my life for ever. Most of the people are folks with whom I want to be in touch. There are others who surprised me by sending me friend requests. Generally I either ignore the request or relegate them to some hidden place on my page. Occasionally I am surprised by them.

One, who shall remain nameless, was mean to me in school. I have no fond memories of her whatsoever. I avoided her at reunions. I saw her posts on the pages of mutual friends but I never comment on them. So I was surprised to get a friend request from her.

I read her info and looked at her page. She didn't look so mean any more. She looked like a mom. And not a mean mom.

Then out of no where she donated to my Avon walk for Cancer site. I was stunned. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was me who was being judgmental and mean. After all, I don't like it when people still see me as a purple-spiky haired teenager. There's more to me than that. Maybe I don't give others the same opportunity to change.

I'm watching one of my kids take on the mean girl character. It makes me nuts. Maybe I can take solace in knowing it might not last forever. One can hope....

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