Friday, July 8, 2011

Time flies....

Seven years ago today I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. A week later, I was also diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Both sucked and both were supposed to do terrible things to me. Let's see what's happened in the last seven years.

It might have been six years. I don't remember. That's the first thing that happened. My brain is a little fuzzy. My memory works but does so on its own schedule. That's frustrating.

I lost my ability to speak properly. Then I got it back. I still mix up words (tell my kids to put on their socks when I meant shoes) but people can understand me.

I lost all sense of direction. I got lost coming home from my kids' daycare and going to the grocery store. I had to keep a map with me at all times. I still have maps but I don't use them any more. I can get around just fine - without a gps.

I couldn't use my hands properly. I couldn't open a jar of peanut butter or fasten a seat belt. My hands work just fine now.

I dyed my hair blonde. I needed to do something while I was unable to work. I'm back to natural - brunette - which I like better. It's me.

I went through the worst pain of my life with the doxycycline (for lyme). I thought I would die. I didn't. I lived and proved everyone wrong. I have very few symptoms of lyme left and my last test, about a year ago, showed no signs of it in my body.

I developed bells palsy so half my face was paralyzed. This was fascinating once I knew it was temporary. The muscles started to work again after about a month. I could smile again. And sneezing was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. My whole face would feel like electric currents were running through it. That lasted over a year.

In this time my children have grown to become nice young women, smart and funny. I am now single. My life is being rewritten. This is a major chapter but no longer the sole one that defines me. I no longer look at people and think they know, that they can see there's "a little something extra" in my head.

I avoid camping and places where I think ticks might be hanging around, ready to pounce on me.

I started a business, take care of my family, and proved that my life goes on. I probably needed this to make me appreciative of the things I have. I am grateful.

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