I have always felt different. I'm not the other moms who pick up their kids at school. Yes, I stopped wearing skull and crossbones on my shirts. Yes, I make sure I look normal. But I know inside I'm not like the other moms. I don't wear flowered pants. Or capris with cute little shoes. Or have perfectly coiffed hair. I listen to different music, tend to wear black or purple and use words I probably shouldn't in front of other people.
I'm not like a lot of my co-workers either but I won't elaborate on why that is.
I couldn't do the whole June Cleaver wife thing. Yeah, I'm not sad about that.
I feel like a misfit sometimes. I realized this weekend that this feeling probably started around the time I discovered the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I wanted to be Columbia or Magenta. I wanted to have the balls to dress like that. I wanted to feel like that. I was that - at the age of 14.
Since entering the world of adulthood, I haven't looked back on that time much, though I know it's still in me. Every once in a while someone will appear in my life who I think either appreciates this part of me or is like me in some unspoken way. I found a whole bunch of folks who get this - and make me seem very normal. Who knew these people were out there??
I went to the Baltimore version of Comicon. It's Balticon. When I was first invited, I said yes mostly out of curiosity and because I wanted to hang out with my friend and see his world. I wasn't sure I'd have much fun but was willing to try something new. Within an hour of being there, I knew all would be fine. I didn't think I'd have so much fun!
I learned about a whole new genre of music, met people who feel passionately about things, who are creative in ways I'd never thought of (who knew you could make art from dryer lint??), listened to lectures about autism, religion and more, went to a liar's panel and a fashion show - tons of new experiences! I went to parties and was SOCIABLE!! Yes, I talked to people without prompting or hand-holding. I even met another interpreter - someone I would never have met if not for a discussion about the Klingon language (which, no, I don't know). How cool is all of that??
I certainly didn't fit in perfectly in that world. One lecture made that very clear. But it was cool to take a chance on doing something new and find that I'm not the only different toy in the land. I'm definitely one of many.