Monday, February 21, 2011

Taking Sides

I've said it before. Divorce sucks. There's really no arguing that fact. If it didn't suck, I'd probably still be married.

Separating things is hard. Clothes are easy. Furniture won't be too hard. Photos will suck. Friends are the hardest. Add the technology thorn in my side - facebook - and it sucks even worse.

We started with something like 47 friends in common. We're down to about 31. Even that's too many. Some defriended him after seeing the latest things he's posted. Some I defriended because I didn't want to ask them to take sides. Some defriended once they knew what was going on. The 31 remaining people are folks I need to assess. And that sucks.

Systematically removing someone who has been part of my life for the last 13 years is harder than I thought it would be. I'm learning some lessons along the way:

1. My friends - my true friends - are awesome. And they love me. I'm not sure I realized that before.

2. I would never let a future spouse get so ingrained in my life. I can have friends separate from a partner.

3. I won't have a partner that doesn't have his own friends. Why attach yourself to my childhood friends who you may meet once or twice or my work friends with whom you have virtually no contact with? Get your own.

4. I will value the people who I have taken for granted in the past.

I feel like the Grinch today. I'm bitchy and I want to do bad things. Then a bunch of little happy things happened and I felt my heart grow "three sizes" this day.

Yay for the happy Grinch.

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