What would Judi do?

Words are funny things. You can't touch them. Some people can't see them; others can't hear them. But they're important. Once you say a word - it comes out of your mouth or off your hands - you can't take it back. I wish more people realized that. Some words are awesome. Everyone knows my three favorite phrases: 1. I love you (add either mommy or sweetie at the end of that, depending on who's saying it) 2. Cancelled, BILLABLE!! 3. You're right, Judi Those are all good words. They make me happy. Lots of other words make me happy as well. My co-worker who told me my hair smells good when she hugs me - those were good words. The client yesterday who told me she was grateful to have me there - again, good words. The comment "You're beautiful when you smile" made me do just that. However, the "I'm smarter than you" pre-teen crap I occasionally get from my kids isn't so good. Some other things I've heard lately

Life shouldn't be this tough. Love should come easily. Laughter should be part of every day. The good should always outweigh the bad. Tears should only come with laughter. So let it be written, so let it be done. So says Queen Judi.

Somewhere along the line I have lost my voice. Really, I still have a voice but I have an inability - a paralyzing fear sometimes - to use it. I feel like a wuss. I feel like I have no balls or, more accurately, no ovaries. After all, I never had balls (thankfully). It's kind of funny. My job often includes being the voice of someone. I can do that. Those words aren't mine. I have no responsibility for that. I have a lot to say, really. I want to tell some people in my life that they're very important to me. I can't. I want to tell others that I'm not happy with the relationship I have with them. I can't do that either. I just kind of go through my life not saying much of anything. It doesn't do me any good. I grew up feeling I didn't have a right to think certain things. I wasn't supposed to call boys. I wasn't supposed to go out - even to the grocery store - without lipstick. There were a bunch of rules I was supposed to foll