Things Your Mother Never Told You - vol. 1
I was sitting at lunch with a couple of coworkers the other day and we got to talking about epidurals. Two of us have horror stories, which we didn't know about each other. As we were talking, the third person cringed. I apologized for discussing this in front of her (she's much younger than me and doesn't yet have children). She said she needed to know this stuff. The stuff your mother never told you.
This got me thinking. What are all the things I've learned along the way that I wish someone had told me? My mind went to all sorts of topics. Then I thought I should sort them out. Maybe categorize them. So this is volume one.
Pregnancy and Parenting.
I'll start at our lunch conversation. And for those that are squeamish, stop reading. You won't be happy if you continue.
1. Epidurals aren't without problems.
I signed the waiver in the hospital but I didn't really know what I was signing. My epidural failed. As in failed to numb me. So when the first incision for my c-section occured, I felt it. And by that I mean I FELT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING. I'm pretty sure that gave me PTSD. I'm not being flippant. It fucked me up in a way I didn't think possible. Don't even think of bringing a needle near my back ever again. During the time I had Lyme disease, there was no way in hell a spinal tap was happening. Nope. Never.
I should clarify my statement. The epidural punctured my spinal column so all the spinal fluid drained from my brain. The pain with that was unreal and completely surprising. I was fine if I didn't move. It's tough not to move when two babies need you. Not a fun time.
While my friend and I were talking, she said her epidural failed in a very different way. The tube came out so she didn't get any mediation. I hadn't considered that possibility. I am grateful I have no interest in getting pregnant again.
One thing that we both commented on was the numbness that lasted. And lasted and lasted. And continued to last. It was about 10 years that I couldn't feel much on my stomach. It's still a strange, unnatural sensation. Fun times.
No one told me how isolating being a mother is. I missed my work. I missed my friends. And everyone was so interested in the freakshow that is being a mom to twins that they forgot there were other parts to me. I was supposed to be happy and thrilled to be a parent. I was. But I was also tired, sad, missing my friends and very alone. It wasn't as great as everyone told me it would be. That said, I wouldn't change it. It's the one part of my life in which I have no regrets.
Also, the baby years are so freaking easy compared to what comes later. My mother tried to tell me that but I didn't really get it until later. Now I hear her voice in my head daily telling me they'll be nice again when they're 21. I'm waiting.
So what are other topics that a young woman needs to know? It's easy to find info on pregnancy and being a parent. What other things should she know? Comments welcome.
This got me thinking. What are all the things I've learned along the way that I wish someone had told me? My mind went to all sorts of topics. Then I thought I should sort them out. Maybe categorize them. So this is volume one.
Pregnancy and Parenting.
I'll start at our lunch conversation. And for those that are squeamish, stop reading. You won't be happy if you continue.
1. Epidurals aren't without problems.
I signed the waiver in the hospital but I didn't really know what I was signing. My epidural failed. As in failed to numb me. So when the first incision for my c-section occured, I felt it. And by that I mean I FELT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING. I'm pretty sure that gave me PTSD. I'm not being flippant. It fucked me up in a way I didn't think possible. Don't even think of bringing a needle near my back ever again. During the time I had Lyme disease, there was no way in hell a spinal tap was happening. Nope. Never.
I should clarify my statement. The epidural punctured my spinal column so all the spinal fluid drained from my brain. The pain with that was unreal and completely surprising. I was fine if I didn't move. It's tough not to move when two babies need you. Not a fun time.
While my friend and I were talking, she said her epidural failed in a very different way. The tube came out so she didn't get any mediation. I hadn't considered that possibility. I am grateful I have no interest in getting pregnant again.
One thing that we both commented on was the numbness that lasted. And lasted and lasted. And continued to last. It was about 10 years that I couldn't feel much on my stomach. It's still a strange, unnatural sensation. Fun times.
No one told me how isolating being a mother is. I missed my work. I missed my friends. And everyone was so interested in the freakshow that is being a mom to twins that they forgot there were other parts to me. I was supposed to be happy and thrilled to be a parent. I was. But I was also tired, sad, missing my friends and very alone. It wasn't as great as everyone told me it would be. That said, I wouldn't change it. It's the one part of my life in which I have no regrets.
Also, the baby years are so freaking easy compared to what comes later. My mother tried to tell me that but I didn't really get it until later. Now I hear her voice in my head daily telling me they'll be nice again when they're 21. I'm waiting.
So what are other topics that a young woman needs to know? It's easy to find info on pregnancy and being a parent. What other things should she know? Comments welcome.
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