What would Judi do?

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and it dawned on me.  I did this life wrong.  Sort of. I am well aware that I've not done any part of my life the way I thought or the way I should have (at least according to my family and my 15 year old self).  It's not been a shitty life.  I just made it harder than it needed to be. So back to my friend....we were talking about things and I said I needed a gap year now. DING DING DING!!! I'm completely fried from the job I'm doing now - running my own business (though I've dwindled that down to barely anything) and managing someone else's business.  That will be over soon enough.  But then what?  I'm taking a few weeks to catch up on things, though nothing exciting.  Doctors appointments, cleaning, unpacking from the move last year .  Turns out, I'm really, really skilled at avoiding things I don't want to do.  Now I'm forcing myself to be a grown up. Holy hell, Rockhill!...

It is a rare thing when I am flustered and giddy to the point of being nearly speechless.  It happens, but rarely.  It happened on Wednesday night. And to think I almost didn't go. A few months, I saw that Midge Ure was touring and would be at a venue I had never gone to on a work night. Let me break that down a bit: 1.  Andrew was going to see someone he didn't love but knows I do because I love(d) Midge Ure forever ago.  While he's never been a jerk about this, I'm still aware when he's not enjoying himself. 2.  It's at a venue I don't know and as someone with anxiety, that's kind of a big deal.  I've been known to ditch shows (where I'm a patron, not an interpreter) because of it.  Granted, it's been a while but that feeling is always there. 3.  It bothers me when people who are engraved in my brain in one way are old and can no longer sing.  Or when they were hot shit long ago and still think they are but they're not. 4....