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Showing posts from March, 2012

What am I?

The other day, M was sitting next to me on the couch.  My laptop was on my lap and she asked to read my blog.  I hesitated a bit - there's some stuff on here I don't think a 10 year old needs to see.  But since I wrote the recent post, Being the Different Flower about her, I thought she should be able to see it.  She read it, looked at me with teary eyes, announced she was going to cry and reread it.  As the tears flowed down her cheeks, I asked why she was crying.   Because that was beautiful , she said.   You can write.   Huh.  I hadn't thought about that.  I told her dad that I let her read it.  He asked if I told her I was a writer.  No, that never occurred to me.  Ever. But since those conversations, I've been thinking.  I've been a mom and an interpreter for so long, that's become my identity.  I hadn't thought of being anything else. But I am. I am  a writer.  Just saying t...

Finding common ground

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I interpreted at the Rally for Reason yesterday.  It was awesome.  Twenty thousand-ish people all coming together on the mall to support atheism, skepticism, and the secular perspective.  It was awesome. Yet, I felt like a bit of a fraud.  That's not really my belief.  I grew up going to church (at least sometimes).  I've been confirmed.  I'm supposed to pray.  Yet here I was, cheering for these speakers.  That was weird. It was weird until I heard speaker after speaker say what I feel: you can believe whatever you want but you have no right to try to force others to do the same (as in teaching religion in public school), women are equal and this trend of politicians and priests knocking them down several levels is not okay and it's time to focus on what's really important (poverty, economy, environment) and not what's already been settled (the right to choose).  Those beliefs I hold strong.  Do I hold Richard Dawkin's comm...

You are your mother's daughter

Most days I consider that a compliment.  After all, my mom was the first woman to work on the ticket counter at American Airlines.  She was in many ways a rebel.  She was strong and taught me to be as independent as she was.  That's not a bad way to be. Then things changed.  She got older. In a text conversation with my ex today, he made the comment "you are your mother's daughter" and he didn't mean it in the nice way.  He meant it in the "you're being stubborn and not taking care of yourself and coming up with 27 reasons to justify that behavior" way.  He wasn't wrong.  But that didn't make me feel better. I took my girls to visit my mom the other night.  One kid, A, had a full conversation with her and my mom didn't hear most of it.  After a little while of this, M started to cry.   She's getting older.  She can't hear me.   I've cried about this more times that I can count.  Now it just frustrates me.  ...

Time Management....or lack thereof

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  I am good at many things.  Time management is not among them.  In fact, if I had to list one of the greatest faults I have, it would be that I have no ability to stay on task.  Or remember the task.  Or give a shit about the task.  But then later I do and this is where the trouble starts. Take now for example.  I should be confirming jobs and doing invoicing.  Technically I am.  I have one normal speed laptop (the one I'm writing on now) and the super slow, something is dreadfully wrong with it other laptop, which I'm waiting to boot up.  So I will do that stuff in a few minutes and while waiting for that, I'm writing this.  It's multi-tasking.  That's a good thing, right? My SO and I have another word for it:  squirrel.  We'll be doing or talking about something and all of a sudden, the topic or activity changes.  SQUIRREL!  It's like when the dog is happily walking and suddenly runs after the...

Walking in Pain

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I joined the Avon Walk for Cancer at the end of January. At that time, my mother in law, Ruth, was battling breast cancer but she was alive. My foot didn't hurt. My confidence was strong. Then Ruth died. We knew it was coming but it was still a surprise - like you can see the swing coming but when it hits, it still knocks your breath out. That's been a hard thing to overcome. Then an old injury on my foot returned. I'm in PT now to fix this. I don't care if it's a permanent fix or not. I don't care if the surgeon needs to sever the nerves in my foot. I just want to walk. I need to do this. When I signed up for this, I did this with Ruth's blessing. We talked about why this was a good idea. I'm great with ideas, less awesome with follow through. This would be good for me. I need to do something for me. Just for me. This was it. It would help me get healthy - walking is good for me, right? It would be nice to take time for mys...

Being the different flower

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M: Mommy, will you take a picture of the flowers in the garden over there? Me: Sure. Why? M: Because all the flowers are the same. Except one. They're all purple except for the one yellow one. I'm like the one yellow one. Different. That's not exactly what a mother wants to hear. But she's right. She's different just like I'm different. She's a wonderful, beautiful, insanely smart kid but she knows she's not like the other kids. She's a different kind of flower, which is kind of funny considering she's a twin. Both of my girls are a little different. Part of it is my fault. I've taught them not to be followers and to set their own path. That can be a lonely road. I used to pick them up from school every day. I started to notice I wasn't like the other mothers. I didn't wear flowered pants, cute little shoes and have short mom hair. My nails weren't perfectly manicured and I didn't carry a large...

How do you judge the value of a family?

The political season always brings out the worst topics. People are fighting about stupid stuff. Well, it's not really stupid. Not at all. But it does seem silly that in 2012 we are arguing about a woman's right to have her insurance pay for birth control. And still the argument about abortion continues. It makes me all insane. The latest news to horrify me comes from the state of Wisconsin. From The Patch: State Sen. Glenn Grothman has proposed a bill that considers nonmarital parenthood a contributing factor to child abuse. Grothman presented the bill to the Senate Committee on Public Health, Human Services and Revenue public hearing last week, according to the Huffington Post . Senate Bill 507 states it is "an act to amend ... statutes ... relating to: requiring the Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board to emphasize nonmarital parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect." Grothman was unavailable for comment Monday afternoon but yo...

Freedom of Speech

When I become Queen of the World..... I say that a lot (mostly in my head). I say it more when people do stupid things. I don't think Rush Limbaugh's most recent comments deserve repeating. However, the sentiment behind that keeps bugging me. Why is it okay to spout hate? I get the idea of freedom of speech but where is the line? Yeah, I know there really isn't a line. Maybe there should be. When a grown man calls a woman a slut and a prostitute and makes public comments about her sex life, that's going too far. When race, gender, and personal matters are used, that's going too far. It's no secret that my political views are to the far side of liberal. I thought the liberal commentators who made comments about Rick Santorum's wife's miscarriage (they said she had an abortion, which IMHO was not true) were mean. Attack Santorum all you want. His wife's miscarriage shouldn't be part of this debate. Rush is entitled to his opinions but ...