What would Judi do?

I'm just really getting into the world of bloggers. It's a fascinating place. Some of my favs are mommy bloggers. Others just make me think. Some just amuse me. They all entertain in one form or another. http://havestrollerwilltravel.blogspot.com/ Alissa makes me want to do good things in this world. I like that. http://crazylovesme.com/archives/71 This is a new blog from a chick whose life is enviable. She travels, experiences life and crazy shit finds this girl. Always. http://www.ooblick.com/weblog/ Epsilon Clue. Full disclosure: I date this writer. That said, I don't always agree with him on everything but he always makes me think. http://mommaneedsabeer.blogspot.com/ Kelli is right. Momma needs a beer. Or a sangria or just a shot of tequila. http://www.justpowers.com/ My neighbor who has a sense of humor and makes me think. http://aparentinsilverspring.com/about This is the go-to site for parents who need things to do with their kids. And fo...

I didn't find out if my babies were boys or girls prior to their birth. I wanted to be surprised (because having twins wasn't enough of a surprise). I certainly had no idea what was in the cards for me by spawning two little girls. From the beginning of this journey, one of my sayings has been "no mean girls in this house". And I mean it. I have never understood the need of girls and women to denigrate each other. Men don't do this. Boys don't do this. Girls do this. It makes me nuts. It's probably the reason all my closest friends have been male. I knew my fair share of mean girls growing up. There's still one person who I probably wouldn't help if she was hit by a car in front of me. Karma is a bitch. And she was a bitch to me for years. After all, a leopard doesn't change its spots so a nasty girl grows up to be a nasty woman, right? Maybe not. Social media has brought me in touch with people I thought were gone from my life f...

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” Richard Bach I think Richard Bach was on to something. That phrase has stayed in my head for years. Other than my immediate family, my mother and my brother, I've never felt a connection to my family. My aunts, uncles and cousins don't know me. And I'm fine with that. I moved to Maryland to work for a well known sign language interpreting agency. When I had my interview I was told it was a "family" atmosphere. Doesn't every office say that? They were right, which I didn't realize for many years. Last night I went out with a group of former co-workers. I've known most since 1993, some since 1996. These are the people who went through my dating trials and tribulations, my wedding, the birth of my children and later my divorce. These are the folks who would show up at my house ...

I wrote the following post for the blog of a friend of mine about three years ago. Have Stroller, Will Travel ( http://www.havestrollerwilltravel.blogspot.com/ ) is a favorite of mine. She lives in the same world I did when my kids were the age her child is now - semi-stay at home mom, semi-working mom. Recently she had an incident with someone who questioned her parenting choices. I'm sure people question other folks' choices often but who has the balls to say it? Out loud? Even though we know people who do that are not worth our time, it still affects us. So, Alissa, this one is for you. Again. Well meaning ignorant people When I was pregnant with my twins (now nearly 9), I was stunned at the stupid things people felt they had the right to say to me. Twins? Oh, you’re going through IVF? Low sperm count? Did you wait too long to start trying? And that was just the beginning! My husband is far more laid back than I. Nothing riles him – except the stupid th...

I know 60 seconds are in a minute and 60 minutes are in an hour. I know that each year consists of 365 days. I know how to measure time as it was taught to me in school. But there are other ways to measure time. My children are knocking on the door of age 11. It doesn't seem that long ago they were in diapers and I was pulling my hair out in an attempt to potty train them. I clearly remember thinking "if they go to school in diapers, so be it" (that didn't happen). I measure time differently these days. Occasionally I feel older than I used to but it's not a conscience thing. I know my children grow but I don't notice it daily. I know my mother is in her 80s but she's still My Mom, the same as she ever was. I was struck today while shopping in my favorite thrift store about how much time has passed. First, it's not the new store any more. Second, the clothes I peruse for my kids are no longer in the baby aisle. Or the toddler aisle. They ar...

I survived the funeral yesterday. I was struck by the number of people who had been affected by my mother-in-law. I felt much the same at my father-in-law's funeral. I learned from both events that having friends is important not only in life but in death as well. Both times I couldn't help but wonder what kind of memories I'd leave behind. I think people would say I made them laugh. Or I made myself laugh in front of them. Often. I didn't follow the rest of the world. My mother said this was "following the beat of my own drummer". This translated into a harder world for me but one that felt true. I was a good mother. Much to everyone's surprise this was true. I was a decent daughter who could have done better. I wasn't good at domestic things but I was a adept at finding fun. I felt most at peace on a beach, specifically Ocean City, NJ. But really any beach will do. Growing up with a deceased parent affected me. I wanted to live long enough ...

My mother in law lost her battle with breast cancer yesterday. She left my life much the way she entered it - in a way I will never forget. The day I met her, I knew I was in for a challenge. She knew I collected carnival glass. Our first conversation started with her asking me "You don't collect that ugly iridescent purple stuff do you?" Why, yes, I do. Sigh. Our relationship was like that for a long time. Then something happened. I gave her her first grandchildren. My standing improved in her eyes. We continued in a friendly way for several years, though it was clear we didn't understand each other. Then, again, several important events happened. Her husband developed Alzheimer's Disease. That was a horrible time. Shortly thereafter she was diagnosed with breast cancer. All of our worlds turned upside down. We helped her find help for her husband and then concentrated on helping her. After months of hell, the old Ruth started to ...